Schedule a Consultation (401) 854-7794

Not Guilty RI

Connecting Beyond Bars: Effective Telephone Communication with Your Incarcerated Spouse

Posted by Kara Hoopis Manosh | Aug 24, 2023

Maintaining a strong connection with your incarcerated spouse can be a challenging endeavor, but it's essential for sustaining your relationship during their time behind bars. With limited means of communication, the telephone becomes a lifeline to keep your bond alive. In this post, we'll explore strategies and tips for effective telephone communication, helping you bridge the gap and support each other through this difficult period.

1. Set Regular Communication Times

Consistency is key when communicating with your incarcerated spouse over the phone. Establish regular communication times that work for both of you. This routine helps create a sense of predictability and something to look forward to, offering stability in an otherwise uncertain situation.

2. Be Mindful of Time Constraints

Phone time in prison is often limited, so make the most of the minutes you have. Prepare what you want to say beforehand, focusing on important updates, emotional support, and meaningful conversations. This ensures that your conversations are purposeful and fulfilling.

3. Create an Atmosphere of Comfort

Find a quiet and comfortable space for your phone conversations. Eliminating distractions allows you to fully engage in the conversation and ensures that you can listen actively and respond thoughtfully.

4. Practice Active Listening

Effective communication involves not just speaking but also listening. Pay close attention to what your spouse is saying, and ask open-ended questions to encourage them to share their thoughts and feelings. This demonstrates your genuine interest in their well-being.

5. Share the Mundane Details

Incarceration can make your spouse feel disconnected from the outside world. Share the ordinary aspects of your life—the ups and downs, daily routines, and even minor achievements. This helps them feel more involved and connected to your world.  Your spouse's lawyer will advise them not to discuss their case over the phone, because the line is recorded and the prosecutor can pull phone calls and listen to them at any time.  Sometimes the best topics to discuss are the mundane details of everyday life!

6. Be Open and Honest

Honesty is the foundation of any strong relationship. If you're experiencing challenges or concerns, communicate them openly with your spouse. Discussing both positive and negative aspects of your lives demonstrates that you're still partners in navigating life's difficulties together.

7. Plan Ahead for Conversations

Given the limited time for each phone call, having a general idea of what you want to discuss can prevent conversations from feeling rushed or disjointed. Share your plans, upcoming events, or any news you've been looking forward to discussing.

8. Express Love and Support

Incarceration can be emotionally taxing for both partners. Take the time to express your love, support, and commitment during each call. Knowing they have your unwavering support can provide your spouse with the emotional strength to endure their situation.

9. Celebrate Milestones and Achievements

Celebrate achievements, no matter how small they may seem. Whether it's a personal accomplishment, a successful program completion, or a positive step towards rehabilitation, acknowledging progress can provide much-needed encouragement.

10. Consider Alternatives to Phone Calls

Depending on the facility's rules, you might have access to alternative communication methods, such as letters or video visits. Explore these options to add variety to your interactions and maintain a sense of intimacy despite the distance.


While maintaining a strong connection with your incarcerated spouse through telephone communication may come with its challenges, it's a powerful way to nurture your relationship and support each other during this challenging time. By setting regular communication times, being mindful of time constraints, actively listening, and sharing both the mundane and meaningful aspects of life, you can create a lifeline of emotional support that transcends the physical barriers. Remember that your commitment to open and honest communication can make a significant difference in preserving the love and connection you share.

About the Author

Kara Hoopis Manosh

Attorney Manosh has dedicated her entire career to defending the rights of the criminally accused. She has handled thousands of cases, appearing in every courthouse in the State of Rhode Island.

Schedule a Consultation

Your rights, your freedom, and your future are at stake. Our dedicated team of career defenders at Manosh Payette, LLC is here to fight for you.

We offer a free case strategy session and will gladly discuss your case with you at your convenience. Contact us today to schedule a confidential consultation.